Why Can't Everyone Just Get Along?!?

Well, I have certainly had one of those days that where you start out the day thinking it's going to be an easy day, but then rapidly turns into a busy and stressful day.  Why?  Because people who have children together, but are no longer in a relationship, have a difficult time getting along.  This is certainly not a jab at people in these situations, as its completely understandable that it would be difficult for two people who were formerly involved in a romantic relationship or even married have a difficult time talking, relating, and working with one another after the breakup.  However, where there are children involved, it is necessary for the parents to talk, relate, and work with each other for the benefit of the child.

That's why I was so happy when I stumbled across the blog of a colleague in Illinois, who also practices family law, that discussed these types of issues.  This article provides an overview of the topic of getting along with a former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend.  As Kristy points out in that article, there are resources out there, including on about.com, ehow.com, ezinearticles.com, and a variety of other websites and books, to help people learn how to get along with and relate to their former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend.

So remember, it's important for the sake of your children (as well as to make sure that you don't spend their college funds on attorney fees) to try to work out issues with the other parent, if possible.  And then, if you and the other parent are really not able to work out the issue, take it to your attorney for assistance and possibly new ideas.

What is ICWA & why does it matter?

ICWA stands for the Indian Child Welfare Act. It applies to child custody proceedings, including foster care placements, termination of parental rights, pre-adoptive placement, and adoptive placement. 25 USC 1903. In essence, it applies to any and all custody determinations, except those between two parents (such as in a divorce).

The act applies only to an "Indian child," which is defined as "any unmarried person who is under age eighteen and is either (a) a member of an Indian tribe or (b) is eligible for membership in an Indian tribe and is the biological child of a member of an Indian tribe." Id. The federal Act was adopted in 1978 to address the "...alarmingly high percentage of Indian families [...] broken up by the removal, often unwarranted, of their children from them by nontribal public and private agencies and [...the] alarmingly high percentage of such children [...] placed in non-Indian foster and adoptive homes and institutions." 25 USC 1901(4).

If child custody proceedings involve an Indian child, or there is any indication that the child might meet either of the definitions of an Indian child, the rather extensive and detailed provisions of ICWA must be followed. This is key, because failure to follow certain provisions of ICWA may lead to reversal. In at least one United States Supreme Court case, Mississippi Band of Choctaw Indians v. Holyfield, 490 US 30 (1989), reversal meant that termination of parental rights and an adoption were in essence undone. Therefore, even if social workers, attorneys, parents, caregivers, the court, and other stakeholders are unfamiliar with the exact requirements of ICWA, it is essential that they at a minimum be able to recognize when and if ICWA applies.